Question:
I asked a previous question on why my wife of 22 years is soooo insecure & jealous. I got some great answers. But to clarify, I’ve done all the above to win her trust-without question. My friends- even my daughters notice & tell mom to “chill, Dad didnt do anything wrong” Sure, I take care of myself & I try to look decent because I to represent my profession well. At times, I’m on TV & radio. I try to include my wife if there’s a business dinner- and then I get a “hi”- and its- Who is she? Where do you know her? I’ll say come with me , I’ll introduce you- and she refuses-kind of stressful. She sometimes checks the bank account & asks me why I swiped my card at Starbucks?! What more can I do?
Tags: everythingattention, give, jealous., love, romance, shes, Still, Travel, Trust, unyielding
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snaccm
said
sounds like shes very insecure…. I wouldn’t put up with it. Its suposed to be about trust.
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oscar
said
it’s her insecurities . . .
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dragonfire
said
divorce her
why put up with an insecure women
and that’s the problem
you cater to her
you put her up on a pedastal
and that was your big mistake
you made her the center of your universe and set an impossible standard to follow life long
and now she expects it
and her jealously is a control issue to make sure all the attention keeps on coming, and it seems to work
once you back off and stop caring she’ll see she has leveraged you too far and may back off
sometime when people think they are going to lose someone they either back off or go to the extreme to keep a person.. it the extreme part i would worry about as that usually involves some form of violence
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dat_sexii_thick_chica
said
If you have treated her like a queen and TRIED to show her that there is nothing going on then there isnt too much more you can do! Alot of time females feel insecure due to the lack of faithfullness THEY have! In times like these….its only one of the two things….she could be cheating and tried to cover her gult up with false accusastions or she just doesnt have ANY kind of trust….and in a HEALTHY marriage or realtinship…trust is the key! ((remeber that)) HOPE I HELPED!
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Deep Thought
said
Sit her down and tell her that your life is an open book and that she can ask you anything. Tell her that yes you meet people in your line of work but YOU COME HOME TO HER. After that keep living your life and tell her how much you love her and after a while hopefully she will figure out that she doesn’t have reason to worry and if she does, rest in the fact that you are not straying and that there’s nothing for her to find.
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bitch of household
said
it sounds like you need to be more open and communicate more with her tell her everything that went on in your day, i went to Starbucks on my way to work and got me a breakfast cake and Carmel swirl coffee. and then saw tom pass by and we stopped and talk for awhile he and his family are doing fine etc…….. things like that to involved her more during your day and even call her through out the day and update her on how your day is going and see how her day is going and whats new? make her feel like she is almost there with you. she dose seem very insecure for some reason why? what has happen in the past to make her this way? or said? put yourself in her shoes too.
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Kiki2007
said
well, have you ever cheated on her at any time? has she ever been cheated on with previous guys? if yes to one or both thats why………………….i went through the same when i got cheated on……… i was always insecure i was just like her…who is she? where you know her from? who was that on the phone? ect. ……………but i even got tired of it tired of feeling like every guy was going to cheat on me……….soooo, i said to my b/f lets start over……..we begain to act like we had just started the relationship but there were rules: no talking about the past (even though its still is going to be there) it took a while but it worked in the end
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billy d
said
Be patient with her.. if she asks you about starbucks, tell her you only bought coffee.. how old is she.. 22 years marriage, say 20… so when you were married, she is in her 40′s or so… women sometimes have a very stressful time at that age.. more than a midlife crisis, their hormones are raging, and they have lots of “ups and downs”.
Sometimes their sexual peak comes at that age, believe it or not, right before it dies off.. She is a different woman now, and should consult a doctor and you should be very patient and helpful.
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?????
said
Sounds to me like she is guilty of the things she rides you about.
Nuff said.
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Queen
said
Maybe, she cheated on you and is wondering if you’ll do the same. Who knows…
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K
said
Maybe the best thing to do in that case is to tell her you are being as open and honest as you can with her, that you love her very much, and that obviously she sees a problem you don’t, and tell her she is going to need to figure out what she thinks is the best way to handle it, and that whether or not she always knows it you are there for her. If she wants to see a couples therapist or someone on her own, or if she isn’t willing to delve deeper, and work on the problems… You can only do just so much and if she isn’t willing to put in torawrds it then as sad as it is sometimes things don’t work out, but let her know you want them to and you love her, and that you will give her time to figure it out.
Then let her think about it. don’t pressure her about it, don’t get upset about it, but don’t withdraw from her either.
And if you aren’t cheating on her (which I am giving you the benifit of the doubt, something people don’t always get from me) then DON’T start giving her stupid details like what kind of coffee you had and how many minutes you talked to Bill. it sounds suspiscious.
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sstubbs30
said
The only thing you can do is be patient with her and and answer her questions. It probably will not change her behavior but you will be doing the right thing by her.
I don’t know why she is so suspicious. Other than, take a look around you. People are cheating on each other left and right. When some friends of ours broke up because of cheating it made me very suspicious because you realize it can ruin any marriage.
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magster
said
If you have been together for 22 years then her behaviour hasnt just happened overnight or has it? If this is recent behaviour then may be you have given her grounds to feel insecure and suspicous of you. If you are genuine then she needs to get help with her problems its the only way you will both be happy.
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michelebaruch@yahoo.com
said
If what you say is true, and I have no reason to doubt you. It could be that she is going through emotional menopause. She might be feeling insecure about her sexuality. As a women matures she loses estrogen, and she needs a supplement for it to get her hormones in balance.
Suggest to her, what you think might be the problem.
Ask her to make an appointment with her OBGYN, and go with her. The two of you should discuss it with her doctor. But let her know first that you love her very much, and that is why you want to accompany her. She needs our support, and patience now more than ever.
Her body is going through changes, just like a teenager when their hormones start running all over. They don’t understand what is happening to them physically and their emotions run rampant.
Try my suggestion, you tried everything else. It is just a process of elimination. Good luck to both of you.
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az_mommma
said
Who is she sleeping with?
Seriously, was she always like this or did it start recently? If it was recently I would be checking into her activities. Many times when a person is doing something wrong they begin to accuse the other of their crime to validate what they are doing wrong.
I’d be wary and watchful. There may be more to this than you think.
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Twizzle
said
You need to tell her how much you love her and that she is the only woman for you. then you need to tell her that her jealousy and constant suspicions that you are doing something wrong is not fair and that she has to change.
Then you need to ask her to go to counseling… if she has been this way for 22 years she needs professional help to get over her insecurities. But you should go to counseling together.